Dogs and walnuts

A wonderful week of learning. First off,  I learned that it's never a good idea to tempt fate by saying "I never have any problem with [insert issue] anymore.
I went on a trip to the Guide Dog training centre in Atherton on Tuesday and learned that Guide Dogs choose when to retire by just stopping one day. I'm wondering if this will work for me. The trainers give the dogs a lot of love and I left full of admiration for the dogs and trainers.
I tried to learn a lot about comets last night but fell asleep. This morning I've put into practice a theory that rubbing walnuts on scratched furniture fixes it and,  shock horror, it actually works.  Still got sort the water marks but my table looks a lot better.
Off out to buy more walnuts now.

The weight of forks

Today I learnt how much it hurts to drop a heavy kitchen fork onto a very lightly shod foot.
I also learned some new process improvement techniques.  That was far less painful and hopefully a darn site more useful.
I tried to learn how Bonnie Thunders manages to push her way past awesome defence but I think it'll take more than studying bouts on YouTube to master that one.

Vickipedia: things I learned last week

I decided to start this blog again but make it more like its name so I'll be sharing things I've learnt.
Last week I learned that:
Hawaiian centipedes can be up to a foot long.
Dropping a chair on your shin is a very bad idea.
Clearing out all your handbags is immensely satisfying and will yield many things thought lost forever.
The nice shiny diner on the way into Liverpool has been turned into a Subway.
Tapping your foot vigorously at a gig can result in considerable pain if you've dropped a chair on your shin earlier in the week.
My friend has not seen Singles.  This will be rectified.
So,  not a wasted week then. 

Profane, Ruby Lounge, Manchester, November 1st 2008

I think we are lucky that we have talented friends and I look forward to seeing them in bands. With this in mind, we set off to see Profane at the Ruby Lounge in Manchester the other weekend. We managed to miss everything that went on before the band but that didn't matter as Profane were our reason for being there. This was their first show featuring visual effects by Fata Morgana, which explained why everyone had white shirts on. Never seen Darryll in anything light coloured before! Anyway - the visuals worked really well and added to the atmosphere; not that they needed any help with that. If you haven't heard them, there are some definite progressive slants in there, some brutal noise, epic soundwaves and some good old Tool-esque angular rhythms. Pretty complicated stuff but never too challenging that you give up and get bored.
Profane hadn't played in Manchester since their ill-fated support slot with Ministry and there was a fair crowd there waiting to see their return.
First part of the set was older material from 'The Day we Scorched the Sky' which still sounds big and clever in all the right ways. The second part was new songs which are just phenomenal. I've listened to a new song they've got on myspace and they really don't sound like anyone else. There is a lot of complexity in the music but a great deal of subtlety too. Basically, I was very impressed and think the show was a big success. I really hope they carry on getting an increasing following and am sure they're destined for big things.
Good job Profane were so good else my lasting memory of the evening would have been being offered a lap dance in the Ruby Lounge.

Taste of Chaos - Manchester Academy 2 - 30th September

I am pleased to report that I wasn't the oldest person at Taste of Chaos - Danny and Feisty were there too. We did look like we should have been there with our children though. That aside, I was looking forward to it.
HORSE the Band were quite unlike anything I have ever seen before. Their singer looked like Philip Seymour Hoffman with a mullet, keyboard player looked remarkably Napoleon Dynamite-esque and one of Flight of the Conchords appeared to be on guitar. They're quite a difficult band to describe. They don't sound quite like anyone else. Ever. Loud, shouty vocals, angular guitars and varied-tempo drums, with a sprinkling of what sounds like a Nintendo through the keyboards. Like Converge crossed with Manic Miner. After a couple of minutes of the full-on aural assault though, I was starting to appreciate the troupe of bouncy people yelling at us. It's good to see something different for a start and their website made me chuckle when I got home. Yes, I think I will definitely go and see them again if they play these grey shores again. Plus, they have HORSE in their name and I love horses best of all the animals...
Anyway, there was another band on that I didn't go to watch as I was chatting about knitting or something and couldn't be bothered moving. Sorry, MUCC.
As I Lay Dying were about as cheerful as you might deduce from the name. I stuck out about 2 songs of their quite generic power metal and then went to find someone to talk to about knitting. I really am very rock 'n' roll.
Story of the Year were a surprise. I was expecting a bit of a wishy-washy band as I only know that one song that goes 'Until the Day I Die' but they were a lot shoutier and more impressive. They seem to have a lot more depth to them live than on record, although I was hoping for the backflips they're famous for and they never materialised. It is a bit of a small stage in there.
Atreyu were the band I was most looking forward to. I've seen them a couple of times before and Lead Sails, Paper Anchor is a really strong album. I finally persuaded the other half to come and see them too. I wished I hadn't. They weren't dreadful, but the shouty, muscly man was really struggling with his vocals and the Academy 2 didn't quite seem big enough for the sound they make, so resulting in a lot of echo. Some of the songs (i.e. where shouty man stuck to shouting, leaving singing drummer to do the singing) still came across well and I'll never get sick of hearing 'Right Side of the Bed'. Other half looked positively worried at 'Blow' but I've still seen worse bands. Couldn't help feeling a bit let down.
7/10 (Mainly for HORSE being so good)

Life Among People - Manchester Academy 23rd October 08

LAP made another appearance at the Academy Unsigned. Now a 3 piece again, the trio are edging closer to finding their own sound but already stand out against the rafts of generic rock bands being bandied around these days. Their new songs have a new-found intensity in their subtleties and sound fresh. They're lucky in that the overall sound isn't affected too much by being a 3 piece, though I must say it's a fuller sound with an extra guitar in the mix. I also must confess that I was recovering from a stomach bug so perhaps didn't take as much notice as I maybe should have but was still impressed. Their cover of the Terminator theme tune is still sublime although I am getting concerned that the younger elements of the crowds seem to not know what it is - the youth of today! I don't think it was one of their best performances but the Academy Unsigned nights are always a difficult crowd to please. I'm sure a big break must be on the horizon.

Strike Anywhere 21st September 2008 - Music Box, Manchester

Crikey, I almost forgot to blog this one. I nearly missed the gig too as I only found out about it a couple of weeks ago. I first found Strike Anywhere on a cold and grey Glaswegian evening, supporting As Friends Rust. We saw them several times that tour, on account of us being addicted to seeing AFR and stalking them the length and breadth of the country. I was impressed by SA's honesty and energy and always check them out when they're in town. It must be a while since we saw them last though as I don't believe I have seen them on this tour for Dead FM, and they've been touring that for two years now.
Anyway, off we trot to the Music Box a.k.a. the downstairs of Rockworld. It hasn't changed one iota since I was waving my tresses about to L7 and the like in the last millennium. I took very little notice of the support bands, I'm afraid, as I'd had very little sleep over the weekend and a mad week of work prior to that. There's nothing like a Strike Anywhere show to blow the cobwebs off. There was a small but devoted crowd who went mental the minute the band came on stage. There were a lot of songs off the last two albums but we got 'Chorus of One' and a fair few off the 'Change is a Sound' record, which I think is still my favourite. SA always remind me of a punk version of the Levellers. There are dreadlocks and a very all-inclusive vibe though you never get the feeling you're being judged or preached to. 'Chalk Line' is dedicated to the girls in the scene who stop it being a boys club. I applaud that sentiment!
Their newer material is more punk than hardcore and I often think of them and Rise Against in the similar vein. Imagine my glee when I find out today that Rise Against are touring too.
I think it's fair to say that I've enjoyed other SA gigs better as the sound was not that great in the Music Box, but that's more to do with the acoustics of the venue than anything else. Singer Tom looks not a day older than the first day I met him and has lost none of that energy. Oh yeah, I got asked for ID on the way in too - result! He's still one of the most affable guys I've met and I'm pleased to hear they've got loads of new material written and just need the studio time. They play a good set that is well received and it's a lot like meeting up with old friends.
They're playing in Leeds next Friday so anyone who's not at a wedding (i.e. not us!) should go and check them out. You won't be disappointed!
8/10 (because of bad sound)